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Monday, December 24, 2012

Stay tuned!


Dear Peggy’s Posse – While we made great strides over the past 16 months, our goal to KMA hasn’t yet been realized.  We will continue the fight in Peggy’s honor, hoping that the combined effort of the 3 of us can come close to the resolve and determination of one Peggy!  We will keep updating the blog, so please keep checking in for updates on:

Gym renovations at St. Augustine/St. Monica.  Thanks to your generous donations, we are that much closer to resuming the neighborhood basketball league!

Advances in research to KMA.  Based on our experience with Dr. Flaherty, we know he and the rest of the Karmanos team will put your contributions to good use.

Finishing Peggy’s book.  Yes, that’s right: the book that will chronicle her remarkable journey to live life Peggy’s Way.  Peggy got things started this summer and we will continue the work to take it over the finish line – but we still need your inputs!
  • First, we need to finish transcribing all the material she recorded this summer.  If you are interested in helping, drop us a note at peggystudz@gmail.com.
  • Second, we need your stories now more than ever!  Peggy left a terrific foundation, but we now depend on your stories to help us fill in the gaps.  What started as an effort to help us reminisce will now help us finish the book!  Keep ‘em coming!
For us, the most important message to all of you is that KMA Lives On.  Through Dr. Flaherty’s research, through everyone that knew Peggy, through those personally affected by this horrible disease.  And soon, through those that wear a visible sign of support, a badge to show our continued support in this fight.  Stay tuned!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all.
- Keith, Melissa & Andy

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Thank You


Thank you to Peggy’s Posse – family, friends, neighbors, caregivers, co-workers, medical professionals, and Peggy’s beauty team for all your support.

It came in numerous forms over the last 16 months – sending cards, sending wine, sending treats, “Driving Miss Peggy” to markets, malls, and hair and nail salons, taking a shift to chase Peggy around, weeding the gardens, sharing a glass of wine, delivering home-cooked meals, chauffeuring Melissa and Andy to/from the airport, and the many thoughts and prayers.

And for the things we don’t know about, that you were sworn to secrecy to protect, we appreciate those as well.

Our ability to endure this fight would not have been possible without all of this support.  Peggy has definitely left an enduring mark and taught us a lesson of how valuable a big posse can be and the power of connecting so many people together during this kind of battle. 

We want to make sure that no matter how small you may think the help was it has meant the world to us. Again, we thank you.
  
The support over the last 3 days has also been tremendous. We want to express our gratitude to everyone that took the time to celebrate Peggy at the Pixley Funeral Home or at St. Hugo’s. Each of you went the extra mile to come dressed sassy; we appreciate all the different expressions! 

Special thanks to Father Dan Trapp for such an intimate and befitting mass and to Rev. Dr. Lou Prues for his kind words at the Detroit Golf Club (and the sassy socks and cuff links). Kudos to Todd Beals, Chef Dan and the entire DGC staff for a fantastic meal. 

We would also like to thank those of you that recently sent in stories. Keep 'em coming!

All in all, it was a celebration done Peggy’s way. We walked away “Feeling Good.” Thank you.
-Keith, Melissa & Andy

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

My Mother

Here is the link to the Pixley Funeral Home website with more information.
http://bit.ly/123Y7mS


As you know, we have been asking for stories about mom. I have one of my own to share, a real life experience that happened to me tonight. 

I dragged Andy to the mall in search of a sassy outfit (realizing I only brought boring, black attire with me...none of which would satisfy Peggy's explicit instructions). Our first stop was to say, "hello," to Jenny at the Estee Lauder counter. Jenny, a veteran member of Peggy's Posse and one of mom's official shopping "assistants," she is also the person that found my wedding dress...in 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon this summer.

She escorted us upstairs and "got to work." Within minutes I had at least a dozen things to try on and 4-5 options to consider (normally I would have bought it all, but had to show some restraint with Andy here). And in keeping with true Peggy fashion, nothing was going to be bought at full retail. In fact, mom would have been extremely proud at the register. Not only were both dresses on sale, I used one of mom's expired VIP coupons that was only supposed to be redeemed on full retail merchandise! As Peggy would have said, "I saved so much money today! Woo-hoo!"

But, the real highlight of this trip was the gift that Jenny gave me from my mother. Mom knew that I would go shopping for something sassy to wear this weekend and had my Christmas present wrapped and waiting for me. My mom and Jenny had a special relationship and it has been an annual tradition for them to enjoy each other's company while they picked out my Christmas gift. I couldn't even be surprised. This is my mother. Always prepared and one step ahead of everyone else. 

To quote one of our good friends, Doug Fehan, "You just can't make this shit up."

Now it's your turn. Send in those stories!

Peggy's Way


Peggy lived life to the fullest, her way. In remembrance, here is a brief tribute to her larger than life spirit.

High standards.  Peggy set incredibly high standards for herself and not only achieved them, but often surpassed them. She initially began taking college courses as a means to secure financial aid during Melissa’s college years. Seven years later she walked away from Oakland University with lifelong friendships and the title of Valedictorian. Even when it came to something as simple as cleaning the house, there was a high bar for what was acceptable. There were three levels: (1) picked up, (2) half ass, and (3) clean. ‘Clean’ meant everything in the room had to be moved and scrubbed top to bottom and underneath. In her mind, there was only one way worth doing the job – clean.

Organized.  At Peggy’s house, there is a place for everything and everything was always in its place. Her organizational skills were truly amazing. As a result, she knew how to locate anything and everything. To ensure everything will stay in order in her absence, Peggy left labels and instructions all over the house. Seriously.

Style.  Peggy always dressed to the nines, even for her last appointment at Karmanos. She was well known for being perfectly accessorized, particularly for the hat collection she amassed over the last year. Her closet is legendary – filled with every designer label you can imagine – every piece procured at a bargain basement price or she left it on the rack. She never paid retail. In fact, how little Peggy paid for things was something she prided herself on. Fluent in all forms of the ‘deal’ – Peggy knew the inside scoop on accumulating the most points, getting ‘on the list’ for coupons, attaining elite account status, applying for the store’s private label credit card AND how to use all of it in combination to get the best price. In some cases, it almost seemed like the store paid her to take the merchandise, with its own associates even assisting her! Peggy LOVED telling stories about each and every one of her infamous bargains, usually involving something she was wearing that day.  She shared the wealth. Friends that accompanied Peggy on her shopping trips walked away with a PhD in how to be a smarter shopper.

Teacher.  Peggy was full of wisdom and always ready and willing to share with others. She was an incredible resource on almost any topic imaginable. You couldn’t stump her. Need to clean up your credit score? Peggy knew who to call and what to do. Need to lose weight? Peggy would pull together a personalized diet and exercise plan (while undergoing whole brain radiation, she took the time to give nutrition tips to one of the techs at Karmanos). Have a pesky stain in your favorite sweater? Peggy had the perfect concoction to erase it. Need a plumber? A tailor? A banker? A hairdresser? Peggy had a friend that could help.

Perspective.  In Peggy’s mind, the glass was always full. Whenever someone expressed doubt or uncertainty around Peggy, her first response was always “Why not?” She had an incredible ability to be cognizant of the entire picture, but focus on the positive. This enabled Peggy to make what seemed impossible actually possible. When the kitchen designer told Peggy that there was no way to give her the kitchen she wanted within the architect’s original plan, she took it upon herself to rework everything. It took several iterations, but she eventually figured out how to configure the kitchen ‘Peggy’s Way’ while staying within the budget. From that point forward, she got more involved in the reconstruction project, ultimately quitting her job to be at the house full-time, “assisting” the builder. For those that have visited the house, what a successful partnership! Seven years later, Peggy and the builder were still in close contact.

Connection.  Whether you knew her for 5 minutes or 50 years, Peggy left an indelible mark on every person she came in contact with. Her inner circle was a collage of personalities, activities, colors, ages, interests, and careers collected during her journey through life. Peggy was famous for connecting disparate groups of people whose paths never would have crossed had it not been for their friendship with her. In Peggy’s eyes, every encounter or event was an opportunity to make a new friend. A perfect example is that of the local exterminator. Turns out, Peggy was on the ‘unlimited’ plan to get rid of the critters at the new house and they had spent enough time together to become friends. Melissa was at home during one of his regular visits and was surprised to discover that he knew as much about her life as a close relative. A close family friend said it well, if you ‘bumped into’ Peggy at a party, and had never met her before, you were going to leave that night knowing everything about her, and she knowing everything about you.

Grace.  While Peggy appreciated and enjoyed material things, she never valued them as anything more than that. When accidents happened, she never let the fate of material possessions phase her at all. While at Detroit Golf Club one night for dinner, a large bowl of gazpacho soup was dropped all over her soaking her hair, face and outfit. Instead of lamenting about her suit, she marched right into the kitchen to ensure there would be no repercussions on the wait staff. Peggy reassured the server with her oft-quoted line, “nobody died, everything is fixable.” She enjoyed her dinner in a hoodie from the Pro Shop next door. Similarly, when a red wine spill stained the grout on her brand new kitchen floor, she shrugged her shoulders and uttered her other infamous retort “it’s only stuff.”

Impact.  Peggy’s KMA blog (http://peggysposse.blogspot.com) is a poignant chronicle of her experience with Stage IV melanoma – allowing every reader to feel like they were in it with her. Her willingness to bare it all generated a groundswell of support that helped Peggy persevere through the most challenging moments of her battle.

As we are learning through her blog, Peggy had an impact that extends beyond those who knew her. We are grateful to the Anonymous author of the following comment for letting us know that he/she was touched by Peggy. “While I did not know Peggy personally, I was made aware of her situation (and, by proxy, this blog) through a friend close to the Studzinski family. One thing that stands out to me is how Peggy is always smiling and exuding joy in the vast majority of the pictures posted on this blog. Blogs about a person's battle with illness typically do not emit such warmth. In personifying the attributes of courage, strength, and hope, her living memory acts as an exaltation of the human spirit. She embraced her illness and did so with dignity and grace. Again, I never knew Peggy. It is a testament of her inspirational fortitude and life that I am motivated to write this. My deepest condolences to Keith, Melissa, and Andy.”

Perhaps Peggy was unknowingly inspired by Frank Sinatra, the lyrics to his song “My Way” may capture it best:

And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, 
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels 
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

Yes, it was my way

Monday, December 10, 2012

Services Information


Services:

  • Guests will be received Thursday, Dec 13 and Friday, Dec 14 from 2 to 8pm; Pixley Funeral Home, 3530 Auburn Road, Auburn Hills, MI 48326
  • Celebratory mass will be held Saturday, December 15 at 2pm; St. Hugo of the Hills, 2215 Opdyke Road, Bloomfield Hills, MI 48304
  • Attire: Peggy left explicit instructions – “Don’t wear black and be sad, it’s a celebration. Come dressed sassy.” 

Donations: Despite Peggy’s love of gardening, she left very specific instructions that donations be made in lieu of flowers to the following institutions dear to her heart.

1) Karmanos Cancer Institute: Make checks payable to “Karmanos Cancer Institute: Melanoma Program” for advancing research to KMA.
Send directly to:

    Lawrence E. Flaherty, M.D.
    4100 John R
    Mailcode: HW04HO
    Detroit, MI 48201

2) St. Augustine & St. Monica: finish renovation of the parish gymnasium to host midnight basketball for the neighborhood kids; funds for the floor already secured, additional donations will repair the walls and ceiling from the water damage.
Send directly to:

    Rev. Daniel Trapp
    4151 Seminole Street
    Detroit, MI 48214

    Make checks payable to “St. Augustine & St. Monica"
    Note "Gym renovation” in the memo


Stories: Please keep the stories coming! Funnypeggystories@gmail.com or peggystudz@gmail.com.

More information will be posted by Tuesday evening.


Dearest family and friends,

It is with both sadness and love that we share the news that Peggy Studzinski is no longer with us. 
We express our sadness that our entire network of family and friends has lost a person of Peggy’s caliber.  She passed away peacefully on Sunday evening, December 09, 2012 at home in the presence of her husband of 36 years, Keith, her beloved daughter Melissa, and Debbie Spencer, Peggy's friend of 45+ years, who is also Keith's cousin, and the person that introduced them.

We express our love for the way that everyone Peggy has touched over the years has rallied to her cause over the past 16 months and sent prayers, gifts, cards, wine, support, and love as we have collectively battled this disease with Peggy. 

While we didn't ultimately KMA, we certainly left our mark.  That mark has come in multiple forms – a new floor for St. Augustine’s and St. Monica’s gym, proof that people can pull off a wedding in 3 weeks when they set their minds to it, proof that you shouldn't wait for the storm to pass but rather learn how to dance in the rain, but perhaps most importantly, hope.  Hope that miracles can happen, hope that the odds can be beaten, and hope that one day we will find a cure.

Service information will be decided shortly and will be posted here on the blog, so please check back for details.

In the interim, please keep sending us stories. Peggy enjoyed reading them and we would like to continue to capture them while they are all still fresh in our minds. Funnypeggystories@gmail.com or peggystudz@gmail.com.

-Keith, Melissa & Andy 

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Keep 'Em Coming!


Over the last few weeks, we have enjoyed reminiscing as a family. All the stories that have been shared have come in handy.  And while a few new ones have trickled in, we need a fresh batch. As you would expect, Peggy calls us out whenever we sneak a few recycled stories between the new ones.  Please send them in! The addresses are still the same – funny ones to (funnypeggystories@gmail.com) and any other sentiments you would like to express to peggystudz@gmail.com.

Here is a sample of some of the most recent submissions:
  • Nephew: I somehow talked my mother into letting my friend and I go to our first concert (KoRn, Snoop Dogg, and Linkin Park - bands known for their parental advisory stickers.  The condition was that my mom was going to chaperone us (how cool right?) After telling Aunt Pegg about the upcoming show she decided to join/save us and bought two tickets. (You’re  probably wondering why anyone needs two tickets to one concert but that is the best part) One general admission , to sit with the rest of us, and one seat only a  few rows back from the stage for the Linkin Park set. This was also the summer I broke my hip so after lots of complaining/whining/begging and doctoral approval the 4 of us arrive at the show. Completely perfectly content with our general admission tickets we began to watch the show but once KoRn came on (one of my favorite bands) Aunt Pegg offered me the close seat because she knew it was one of my favorite bands, I politely declined not wanting to abandon my friend with my aunt and my mom. Aunt Pegg laughed and explained her master plan to me. Probably against my mother’s approval she took me and my crutches down to the close seat (smoothly convinced the security guard that she was going to help me to my seat and bring my crutches back) Now I didn't abandon my friend with my mother and aunt, Aunt Pegg took my crutches and the ticket back to the general admission spot so my friend could come and join me in the seat close to the stage. Definitely was very cool experience that i wouldn't have experienced without her.


  • Friend from Oakland U: I fondly recall my first trip to the Eastern Market.  I met Peggy at her house before the crack of dawn on a Saturday and we headed to Detroit.  I had never experienced the Eastern Market.  Holy hell was I in for a surprise.  The place itself was not what I expect and I was in awe of all the vendors and people.  Not so much with the place itself, but with the way Peggy knew “the ropes”.  She knew the good vendors and what was good quality and price.  My husband and I had purchased vacant land and were planning on building a house, so I was on the hunt for spruces to plant.  Now, I was looking, but not actually thinking I would buy, because I believe at this time Peggy had a Chevrolet Blazer-like SUV.  We came across a vendor that had really nice trees for $25 each.  She asked how many I needed.  I told her that I am just looking and will have to come back another time with a truck.  She looked at me and laughed the way a superhero laughs in the face of danger.  I am pretty sure I had that deer in the headlights look on my face.  She convinced me that we could fit 3, so I bought 3.  I thought she was totally flipping nuts, but I learned very early in our friendship, when Peggy sets her mind to something, it occurs.  So, I bought 3 and I could not imagine how we were going to get them loaded.  But, we muscled the 3 blue spruce trees into this car. It was a trip that I will never forget.  I have been back to the Eastern Market a couple times, but never with same memories as this trip.


  • Peggy’s friend from high school:  So many thoughts run through my mind when I think about our time together.  Cheerleading practice in your family’s backyard is a big one.  Remembering our pyramid with [name omitted] on the third layer of the pyramid and how she could back roll off two girls below her!  You were so great at helping us learn and get better as cheerleaders.  That was amazing to me!  Watching you put on mascara and use a safety pin to separate your lashes.  What skill....  

Look forward to reading them!
-Keith, Peggy & Melissa